Stargate SG1: In the Mind's Eye
by Jag-Fel
Summary: Following Season 9Episode 12, Cameron Mitchell returns to work after the brutal memory reconstruction he endured after being framed for murder. Now he attempts to return to life as normal, but will he have to do it alone? CMCL.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate SG-1: In the Mind's Eye

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_Following Season 9, Episode 12's glimpse into the memories of LCol Cameron Mitchell, played by Ben Browder. The character experiences similar mental and physical abuse that are similar in many ways to those of John Crichton, a character he played in __Farscape._

_Following that line of thought and, coupled with his interactions and casual affection for Dr. Carolyn Lam, I introduce this fanfiction where our favorite abused hero is given a much-needed respite by a benevolent writer, me.  
_

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He was exhausted. Cameron Mitchell rose from the bunk in his quarters at the Cheyenne Mountain facility that housed the Stargate and along with it the Air Force and civilian units attached to the Stargate project. The facility, really more of a military base of operations, was an old nuclear silo built within a mountain and ran many levels below ground. These levels ranged from quarters, research and development, a fully stocked mess and dining hall, meeting rooms, to the entire level reserved for the Stargate itself.

Raising a hand to stifle a deep yawn, Cam sat up in bed and rubbed at his temples with the other hand. He'd not slept a wink, despite having been awake ever since they'd first arrived on Galera; the headache he'd been plagued with ever since first being aware of the memory associated with the murder of Doctor Reya Varrick remained even still. His heart sunk further into his stomach with that very realization, as the images of their tryst were brought back to mind, and with them, the fleeting ghost of a memory of her murder and his framing.

"I'm getting too old for this shit," Cam muttered the curse, touching the floor with his feet finally and resting his elbows against his knees. He cradled his head in his rough hands, scarred and calloused as they were. The last few days had been harder than most any he could remember, save maybe for the day when he'd first seen his father after the accident or perhaps the incident in the Middle East with the refugee caravan...

Cam rose from the bunk with a haunted expression, walking slowly and stiffly to his wardrobe. With deliberate effort, he forced himself to focus on selecting his daily uniform, the forest green BDU's with SG-1 insignia that he'd worn on nearly a daily basis since taking the position. Blinking sleep from his eyes, even though he had not slept, Cam sat back on the bed and set to tying his boots on.

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	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to Part 2 of Mind's Eye.

Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me.

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Striding down the corridors toward Level 24 and Major General Landy's office, Cameron Mitchell found his thoughts a mile away. He'd missed no less than two salutes as he stalked his way toward his morning duties, so distracted he was. Stopping just outside the general's office, he placed a hand firmly on the wall and leaned on it. Again his other hand found his temple, massaging his head to ease the headache and find the means to survive another day. 

Hearing voices in the office, one he immediately recognized as belonging to General Landy and another that, after the briefest moment of consideration, was likely Doctor Carolyn Lam, who very few within the Cheyenne Mountain facility knew to be Landy's daughter.

Cam halted just outside the door before poking his head in, balancing on one foot, and rapt his knuckles on the door to the office.

"Ah, Colonel Mitchell," General Landy acknowledged, breaking away from the conversation he'd been holding with his daughter, the exotic and attractive Dr. Lam. "How are you feeling today?"

Trying, but failing, to ignore the searching expression coming from Dr. Lam, Cam stepped inside and placed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "Running a bit low on sleep, sir," he admitted with frank sincerity and wry honesty.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Colonel," the general replied and, now gesturing lightly to the doctor, "I was just discussing your situation with Doctor Lam here."

Cam couldn't stop an eyebrow from rising. He wasn't a particular fan of medical personnel, military or civilian... well, that wasn't entirely true. He enjoyed their company – honestly, doctors and nurses were among his most desired preference in partners – except when he was a patient, as was likely the case here. The double standard made his mind pulse with pain again.

The intensity of his headache must have graced his expression, because Dr. Lam suddenly became more interested in his presence than she had just a moment before. She had taken several steps closer to him, just a few hand's breadths away now, touching the back of her right hand to his forehead.

"No fever," she remarked in a tone Cam could not quite place, "though he is warmer than I would expect. How long has this headache been bothering you?" Somehow, she sounded more motherly than he could ever remember her being with a patient.

He blinked a few times, wondering if his mind was an open book to the woman like it had been with his own mother. "Since before we returned from Galera."

"How long before?" she asked.

"A while."

"Colonel," she said through clenched teeth, obviously frustrated with his lack of forthcoming.

Cam sighed lightly, glancing downward and taking a marked and sudden interest in his own boots. While he stared at the floor, he noticed that Carolyn – Dr. Lam – wore comfortable sneakers. With her cold bedside manner and clinical personality, he'd somehow expected either dominatrix jackboots or Dorothy's ruby red heels from Oz. "Since I woke up on Galera and was arrested for Reya's murder. It was more noticeable after the memory treatments in the lab."

She nodded slightly in understanding and – was that compassion? She ignored him for a moment and turned to the general. "I'd like to examine him more closely in the medical bay, just to make sure there is no residual damage after those technicians were digging around in his brain."

General Landy nodded his permission. For some time now, he'd seen the glances and small smiles the two had shared and he had a particular interest in both members of his staff, especially the health of the leader of his most prestigious unit.

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	3. Chapter 3

Welcome to Part 3 of Mind's Eye.

Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me.

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Almost struggling to keep up with Carolyn's pace, Cam followed the doctor on her heels. She was back to wearing her 'doctor mask', firing off questions about his condition like an interrogator. The almost motherly compassion she'd shown earlier had quite remarkably disappeared.

"How has your sleep been lately?" she asked as they rounded the last corner into the med bay, Cam still fighting to follow in his fatigue.

"I haven't slept since the night she was killed," Cam admitted slowly, with reluctance.

Carolyn abruptly stopped, halting with almost military precision, and turning to face him all in one complicated movement. Somewhere in his pained mind, Cam considered that only a woman could pull off so complex a feat as tersely as she had. "You haven't slept at all in the last four days?"

He shook his head, unnerved by her closeness now, just a hand span away from him. "Not a wink," he replied with a boyish grin that he quickly realized was an attempt to lighten the mood, though she'd likely taken it as a defense mechanism for their proximity.

She was walking again, and Cam was once again trying to keep up. Carolyn led him to a quiet corner of the lab, where she gestured for him to lay on the elevated hospital bed. He hopped up on the bed and, upon her gesture, lay back to get his brain looked at. _Damn, Cam,_ he thought, _she's going to be at it all day, trying to find any sense in _this_ mind._

Cam closed his eyes briefly while Carolyn attached monitoring nodes to his temples and neck. Her hands brushed his face ever so lightly as she started her analysis; the gesture brought a flutter to his stomach. Each touch was like a brisk surge of electricity through his veins. He was only half aware of her quizzical expression as he grinned like an idiot before her attentions.

She was asking him questions again. "You mentioned that you hadn't been sleeping. Do you think this an emotional response to what happened on Galera?"

"Yes... no... maybe... I guess," he muttered, feeling awkward about breaching _that_ subject again. "I only knew her for a day, Doc. It's the whole memory-scramble-delete-repeat business."

Carolyn raised an eyebrow at his turn of phrase. "And the headache?"

"Stress, maybe? I had two little doctor men mind-raping me for three days there, trying to find the right memory and the whole time, I didn't know what to believe."

She nodded slowly, her lips just barely parted in awe and understanding. "I'd like to keep you here for the day. Just for observation, Colonel. It'll give me a chance to check for anomalies in your brain tissue and make sure no lasting damage was left," she took a step back and appraised him briefly. "I'll go get you some Advil for the headache, be right back."

Cam watched as she disappeared behind the privacy curtain and closed his eyes again. The proverbial thirteen-year-old in his brain had watched her leave, or more specifically, had watched her butt as she left. Despite the knee-length white lab coat that seemed to be standard amongst doctors, her butt was still noticeable as she walked. He was just imagining what that butt looked like in a barely-there black bikini when...

"Here's your Advil," the same voice announced. Cam's eyes flashed open. He felt his cheeks redden with embarrassment, but hopefully she hadn't noticed. "Just try to get some rest, Colonel. I'll check on you later."

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	4. Chapter 4

Welcome to Part 4 and the conclusion of Mind's Eye.

Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me.

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When Cameron next awoke, the medical bay lighting had been dimmed, which suggested to him that the evening had come. Under General Hammond, an initiative had been made to adjust the facility lighting accordingly as per outdoors; brighter during the day, dimmed for evenings and night. The effort lent some semblance of normalcy to people who spent much of their time beneath the surface. 

"How are you feeling?" a silky voice inquired from somewhere near his feet.

Cam adjusted himself so that he was half sitting. Doctor Lam was leaning against the wall near the foot of his medical bed. She was no longer wearing the white lab coat so it was definitely after-hours. Now she wore only the professional gray slacks and deep red blouse that dipped just low enough to be alluring, but hid enough to remain appropriate for the workplace. Ignoring that, he wondered exactly what time it was...

"Twenty-three fourteen," she offered, as if reading his mind again.

He blinked a few times, another boyish grin appearing on his mouth. "I feel better. Well rested, even."

"I bet," she replied with her uncharacteristically friendly tone. "You slept the whole day away. How's the headache?"

"Gone," Cam remarked, surprised to be free of the mind-numbing ache and fatigue he'd suffered for the last several days. "My memories still seem a bit fuzzy though."

She walked closer so that she was floating just above him. The dimmed overhead light haloed around her head so that she looked like some brunette angel to his Advil-addled imagination. "You'll be glad to know that everything is fine. The confusions with your memories are normal; I checked it over with Dr. Amuro earlier today. Your brain is just sorting the fact from fiction still."

Cam lay back against his pillow again, shutting his eyes lightly and letting the frustration bleed off him. Everywhere he went, suffering seemed to follow.

"How do you feel?" she asked again, but now the question sounded more like an offer than an interrogation. She sounded more like a friend offering her ear than his doctor.

"Fine."

"I mean really feel."

Cam still hadn't opened his eyes, but now he covered them with his hand. "Tell me, how would you feel if you had been just casually interested in a female doctor from some distant planet, causing her jealous ex-husband to bludgeon her to death and use a mind machine to rape your memories and frame you for her murder?"

A small, compassionate smile replaced her earlier clinical expression.

"But you aren't my shrink, Doc, so don't you worry about it," he muttered, rolling over so that he faced away from her and those deep, searching brown eyes.

"You can call me Carolyn," she replied, softly placing her hand on his shoulder.

He glanced back over his shoulder at her hand, noting the detailed coloring on her fingernails. His gaze followed her hand up her arm before settling on her face and locking with her eyes once more. Cam brushed her hand with his own, opposite to his shoulder, as he was still lying awkwardly on his side. "Cam," he replied.

"I can't pretend that I understand what you're going through, Cam. My harshest memory was growing up without a father, and even that is being taken from me now that I know exactly what he's gone through here. But I hate seeing you hurt..."

Cam heard the raw emotion in her voice and squeezed her hand with his own before rolling back over to face her. Even in the dim lighting, he could see her worried expression and posture, hugging her free arm against her torso. He refused to release her other hand, the one caught in his own now. "And I thought you were the Ice Queen."

Carolyn laughed lightly and blushed, biting the nails of the hand she still retained. "No, you just seem to have your head so far up your own ass or pining for Colonel Carter or Vala or this woman or that, that I never thought you'd noticed me."

"Carter? Me? No," he dismissed, still holding her hand.

She gazed at him intently. It was that overcome-with-emotion-so-hurry-up-and-kiss-me-you-lummox look that you always see right before the first kiss on movies or those horrible daytime dramas that Cam's mother always used to watch. To help him along, she had leaned toward him ever so slightly.

Cam pulled lightly on her arm, forcing her down closer to him. With his free hand, he reached around behind her head and buried his hand in her smooth chocolate hair. He leaned up and brushed her lips with his lightly, just a teasing kiss at first. When she returned the feeling, he held her closer and kissed her deeply.

They kissed for what felt like hours, and every moment felt right. When they finally broke away, both were panting. "I don't suppose I could convince you to keep me over night for observation?"

Carolyn laughed again, punching him in the shoulder playfully. He recoiled in mock pain before catching her lips in another searing kiss. He scooted over so that she could join him on the small medical bed. They both knew it was somewhat inappropriate for them to share a bed in the public medical bay, but the majority of the staff was off-duty, and the medical bay would be empty for another six hours.

Comfortably embraced in Carolyn's arms, Cam settled in for what would prove to be a very good sleep. And now, only good memories visited his dreams.

And of course, there was still that barely-there black bikini on his mind...

FINIS.

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If you're still here, thank you for reading. Now go and click that "Review" button. Although I ultimately write only for myself, to satisfy some itch that occurs during an episode or in class, at work, or some similar yet inconvenient time, I crave the reviews and constructive criticism of readers. 

Lo, what use is a Bard without his audience?


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